I have been and always shall be
by Merthergirl
Summary: Older Spock gives Spock a heads up as to why he should cherish every moment with Kirk. one-shot. product of boredom.


I have been and always shall be.

**Please review, and if you like Merlin, Dr Who, Torchwood, Harry Potter, Sherlock, The Young Ones, Ouran High School Host Club, The big bang theory or Jeeves and Wooster, check out my other fics. There's also a poll on my profile you should check out!**

**This idea came to me after I realised that Spock's older self is around 154 or so in the film haha :D **

"_I have to show you something. It is important." _

_Spock looked at his older self, curiosity growing, "Oh yes?"_

"_Yes. Let me make our minds one." Spock's older self seemed to chuckle at the thought, but on Spock's nod, he placed his hand on his forehead. _

"Remind me, captain, how did you do this again?" Spock, aged thirty, sighed and wrapped the captain's hand in a bandage. A fond half-smile decorated his handsome face as he concentrated on the captain's face, searching for any signs of pain or discomfort. They had become quite close over the past five years, and both- although they didn't like to admit it- were smitten.

"Jim, Spock, call me Jim." The Captain smiled, shifting in his bed so that he was lying with his elbows as support, "And I had a run in with a very angry girl."

Spock nodded, "An ex-girlfriend of yours?"

"She was my girlfriend at the time." Kirk said sheepishly, "But now she's ex when she found out about the other three."

Spock finished fixing the bandage. For a moment he sat there, smiling at his captain without really knowing why, before he stood, "I will see you later, Jim."

The captain beamed, glad that his friend was using his first name now. "Yes, you will."

….

"So, Jim." Thirty-five year old Spock said sternly, "Let me hear this one."

Jim, writhing in pain on his bed, whined, "McCoy gave me surgery on my stomach while I was awake!"

"He had to, Jim-"  
"I was awake!"

Spock couldn't help feeling like holding the other man. He was so delightfully pathetic and helpless, lying there with his pretty eyes squeezed tightly shut and pink lips pursed. The Vulcan sat on the end of his captain's bed and patted his knee tenderly, "Do you need pain killers?"

"A kiss would do fine." Kirk winked. Spock tried not to blush as he stood, raising an eyebrow characteristically.

Kirk chuckled, "Its alright, I don't expect you to be so affectionate."

Spock sat down again, looking intently at his captain, "Did you want me to be?"

"I never want you to change who you are." Jim smiled sweetly, "never ever."

"Then I won't." Spock said, a smile breaking across his face for the first time in a while.

….

"Jim." The forty year old first officer looked down at his boyfriend, "Explain?" he allowed the corners of his lips to curve unconsciously. His emotional scale shown had greatly widened over his years of serving with Kirk, and he knew both he and the captain were glad for this.

Kirk, clutching his hand in agony, whimpered a feeble excuse. He then sat, and patted the bed beside him. For some reason, Spock found himself sitting and interlinking their fingers. The captain rested his head on Spock's shoulder and yawned. His face was just as handsome as it had always been, but age had brought on wrinkles, and smile lines.

Spock still found the other man powerfully attractive. The feeling was mutual, and they were openly together now. Spock rarely showed affection like this, but since they were alone and the captain was hurt… he leant down and placed a kiss on the other man's lips. Kirk smiled gratefully before capturing his lover's lips once more, placing his hands on either side of the Vulcan's face (despite his terrible ailment) and pulling him closer.

Spock didn't care that he had been tricked into the passion that followed.

….

Forty-five. Kirk still couldn't believe he was forty five. And yet, his heart still skipped a beat every time he saw his T'hy'la. As Spock crossed the room to the door Kirk took a moment to admire the gorgeous way his uniform still hung over his shapely form, and the adorable pointy ears. Not to mention that handsome face of his. Kirk stood and followed his first officer into the lift, stopping it in the middle of its journey, to give them privacy.

Spock raised an eyebrow.

Kirk grinned and wrapped the Vulcan into his arms, smile broadening as a small smile appeared on Spock's lips. He loved it when he managed to make his lover smile easily- it showed he was breaking out of his shell.

"How are you today?"

Spock, clearly distracted by the massage Kirk was giving to his ears- which he often found himself playing with- barely found strength to answer, "I am well, and you?"

"Lonely." Kirk pouted. Getting the hint through experience, Spock kissed him briefly, and gasped slightly when Kirk deepened the kiss, wrapping his hands into Spock's hair and making sure to mess it up.

Spock raised an eyebrow at his love before pressing to continue the lift's journey, "Your cabin or mine?"

Kirk practically jumped with excitement.

….

For once, at fifty, it was Kirk bandaging Spock up. The Vulcan sat there, an almost pout on his face as the captain fastened the sling. "So, Spock." Kirk said, a cheeky smile matching the glint in his eyes, "Explain."

Spock sighed and, with a fond smile as Kirk cuddled into him, pushing him down onto the captain's bed, said, "You pushed me off the Enterprise a few feet before we landed and I broke my arm in the fall."  
Kirk nodded, "Yes. That was very irresponsible of you."

Spock raised an eyebrow, making Kirk giggle and kiss his neck, "Ok, I'm sorry. It was all my fault."

Spock nodded, but he relaxed into the captain's embrace, "Its fine."

"I love you." Kirk whispered, kissing Spock's lips. Spock closed his eyes, humming happily before he replied.

"The feeling's mutual Jim."

Kirk had never been so happy.

….

Fifty-five, and they were wed. it was a small ceremony, with only their closest friends present. But it was still the happiest day of their lives. The wedding night was exceptional, and the morning after spent, to Kirk's surprise, cuddling. Spock, sighing contentedly, didn't consider that it would ever end.

….

Aged 100, Kirk was on borrowed time to say the least. But this didn't stop his death hurting. "Spock." Kirk smiled one night, breathing deeply. The Vulcan, who would live for a while longer after tonight, smiled warmly at his captain, "Yes?"

"I think my time has come."  
The statement shocked him, and Spock stared, "Pardon?"

"I think tonight is my last night."  
"No. no please." Spock felt his heart race as he clutched onto Kirk, "It can't be."

"I'm so tired, Spock." Kirk whispered.

"Please don't." Spock barely realised the tears that ran down his face until they fell onto his friend.

"Spock."

"I can't loose you." Spock found himself sobbing. He'd never let go like this. Never cried so openly and so… humanly.

"I love you."

"I love you too, but please don't go!"

"I'll try."

But it was to no prevail.

…..

Aged 105.

Spock lay alone in Kirk's bed, staring at the ceiling. "You will not do it, Spock." He whispered to himself, "You will not cry yourself to sleep tonight. You will not…"

But he couldn't refrain from it. his everything was gone. Forever. And he had to live without him. that was the worst part.

…..

"_Please. Cherish every moment you have with him."_

_It didn't take long for Spock to recover. His 25 year old heart beating fast, he ran to the Enterprise and pulled the captain into a kiss, not wanting to waste a minute. _

_His older self smiled almost evilly, and prepared for his journey home, where his captain was alive and well, awaiting his return. "Sometimes we all need a push." He muttered. _

**I don't know either. Please review anyway :3**


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